This meticulously crafted digital adventure will take you on a journey through woes and wonders.
This meticulously crafted digital adventure will take you on a journey through woes and wonders.
MUSIC was invented by John C. Music in this year when he wrote the famous Declaration of MUSIC. After that, people began banging and blowing on anything they saw fit in a quest to make some MUSIC of their own. Though MUSIC was originally named after its inventor, it became an acronym later in time (which will be disclosed later in the timeline).
As musicians starting popping up more often, more and more instruments were tamed. The first important instrument was first discovered in this year: the sackbut. Genetic testing revealed this specimen would eventually evolve into the modern-day trombone.
It was here that the language of MUSIC started developing beyond making various sounds with the mouth or instrument in the heat of the moment. Now, music could be written down and played at a later date through a technique known as composing. It was named after John C. Music's cousin, John C. Composing, who successfully wrote the first SONG, or Sound-Organized Note Gauntlet. This SONG was titled "Never Going to Give Thou Uppeth".
It was at this time that the first orchestra was created. It was done by training musicians to sit down in a semicircle and make noise for an entire six hours straight. Unfortunately, segration was common at this time and thus musicians who played certain instruments weren't allowed in. Percussionists, for instance, were seen as too barbaric because all they did was bang things with sticks.
Orchestras eventually fell out of favor because musicians who played the violin, also known as violin musicians, were all quite obnoxious and would constantly drone the phrase "I am a Violin and I am the String King". It was an Einstein-proven fact at this point that all musicians who played the same instrument were a hivemind and had no clear thoughts of their own, so when the MUSIC Council decided to create a new ensemble, they axed all the string instruments out of fear and created the first military bands. These bands contained trumpets, trombones (the evolved sackbut), bass trumpets, wooden trumpets, killer trumpets, bumble trumpets, Africanized honey trumpets, and more. Military bands use weaponized instruments and large group tactics to overwhelm the enemy.
The saxophone was invented, defying all odds as the creator dodged death over five times. It was made by fusing the genes of a French horn and clarinet, and then slapping the result until it actually worked properly (RIP to the ophicleide).
John Philip Sousa, John C. Music's other cousin, wrote his famous piece for military band "The Liberty Bell" in this year. [*NOTE: John P. Sousa used so much anti-aging cream that he was able to survive centuries since his and John C. Music's birth.] It was written to accompany a new form of football called Silly Football, which was played by five whole schools, but would sadly eventually be demoted to being the intro music of the British comedy experiment Monty Python's Flying Circus. This piece, though in the style of a march, was so influential that Sousa decided to replace the current word "march" with a much more fitting name for the style - the SOUSA.
A new form of music started developing in the United States: "jazz". "Jazz" was so popular that it was dubbed the new incarnation of MUSIC, and all music from older time periods that wasn't "jazz" was destroyed. The "Jazz" Empire was built by legendary musicians such as Charlie Parker, Miles Davis, Kenny G, and others. The "Jazz" castle was located on Boulevard Avenue and the famed three lived there until the building was burned down with the advent of rock n' roll.
School bands started becoming a common way to introduce the youths to the world of MUSIC. It was here that MUSIC became a proper acronym, when every student in America simultaneously decided to give it the words "Must Use Shitty Instruments, Crap!" in exasperation at the poor quality of school-owned horns.
At the height of the space race, the Soviet Union decided to separate itself from America by banning MUSIC. To make sure no one could get away with humming a tune or two, they also banned sound itself. America, wanting to be different, decided to take this as a challenge and thus banned silence. It was an awful time for both nations, but luckily only lasted a few months until a man was successfully sent to the moon.
MUSIC continues to evolve to this very day, just as wished by our lord and savior John C. Music. Nowadays, MUSIC has gone through many iterations from its roots in [classical], to "jazz", and to rock n' roll, ~pop~, rap, country, 5YNtHW4VE, E.D.M, and anything the heart could ever desire.